I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
