He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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