I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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