just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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