Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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