this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
