If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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