I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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