Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
