i'm signing you up for texting rehab
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
