Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
