her vagine was all disorganized.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
