Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sorry about my life...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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