i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
