so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
