we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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