Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
