My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
