apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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