I think i peed on brittanys purse
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
