You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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