Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
