what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
