video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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