ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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