You made me cry and you don't even care
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
