I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
