My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize