I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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