I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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