no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
