grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
