i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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