I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
