Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
