As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
