1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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