She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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