I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize