So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
