Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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