I think I am morally bankrupt
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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