youre lurking in front of me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
