you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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