dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
