What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
