4 words: hood of his car
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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