his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wear drunk well.
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