I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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