I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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