Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize