My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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