I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm both gender and math confused
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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