My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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