Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
