And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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