At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
